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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in The Empress of Ice Cream's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
10:42 am
Dullest Vicodin dream to date
A panicked rush for coleslaw ingredients, so that I could make coleslaw before appearing in a play with my friend Joel Derfner. Must have been a dud Vicodin?
Sunday, May 15th, 2011
9:14 pm
I actually am my khakis
THE FIRST RULE OF LARYNGITIS CLUB IS THAT YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT LARYNGITIS CLUB
9:58 am
Curiouser and curiouser
In last night's Vicodin dream, Stephen Fry showed me his penis. Not, I hasten to add, because he was being a creeper, but because he wanted my advice on a health problem.

I have never had so much sympathy for Rush Limbaugh as I have since I have been taking this stuff. ("So much" means "a tiny bit more than absolute zero, probably only measurable by the most sophisticated laboratory equipment," but still.) I find the whole narcotic thing to be very unsettling, cognitively.
Saturday, May 14th, 2011
4:37 pm
Take As Directed
One of the side effects of my kabillion different medications I'm taking for the Doom Cough (probably one of the narcotics) is constant sub-auditory hallucinations.

You know how when you have an earworm of a song, and the song is stuck in your head even though it's not like you're actually hearing the song? Imagine that, only instead of an infectious song it's a radio blipping around through various talk programs, with so much static that you only catch some of the words.

I don't know how people who live with this on a regular basis can stand it! It's so exhausting.
Friday, May 13th, 2011
2:03 am
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Snark Goes On
Facebook exchange I had today:

{Former colleague}: NEWT? Very scary!!

Me: Why are you so scared of a slimy, cold-blooded creature with a teeny-tiny brain capacity? Or is it the amphibians you're talking about?
Thursday, May 12th, 2011
10:46 pm
I HAVE BEEN EATEN BY A GRUE
So it seems I may have whooping cough (!?!?!?) So many 19th-century ailments in the last little while, that I feel like my life is a game of Oregon Trail.
Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
8:04 am
What It's All About
This is so lovely.

(Found thanks to Janet Reid.)

Current Mood: Enchanted
Monday, May 9th, 2011
9:32 pm
Every Day is Triffids' Day
To pile joy upon joy, I had a full range of seasonal allergy testing today. The verdict is that I am allergic to everything.

Which, yeah, I knew, but it is different to see it spelled out in red welts on your arm. Sour dock, whatever you are, you are dead to me now. DEAD I SAY.

Still have zero voice, which makes for an interesting health-care experience.
9:53 am
Bits and Pieces
So you know how in 18th and 19th century novels (Jane Austen et al.), the maids are always using the discarded tea leaves to settle the dust while sweeping the floors? Turns out tannic acid is a great neutralizer of dust mites, so.

More random thoughts from in between coughsCollapse )
Saturday, May 7th, 2011
7:01 am
Why I am not a gonzo novelist
My Vicodin dreams are simultaneously bizarre and uninteresting--it's like being on an acid trip while reading the tax code. Last night I was menaced by a nefarious bag of almonds.
Friday, May 6th, 2011
12:54 am
More WHARFARGBL
I have this cough. I should say, This Cough, which deserves capitalization and probably a guest shot as a supervillain in Spider-Man. It is relentless, and I haven't slept more than two hours in succession since Friday. Doctors have been seen, and many drugs have been prescribed and are being taken. Many herbal teas are being drunk. I am sleeping on the guest bed because I am running a vaporizer with eucalyptus oil in it. Could I please just have one tiny break, please?
Thursday, April 28th, 2011
10:59 pm
?
I would not get up at 4:00 a.m. to attend the wedding of people I knew personally, let alone watch strangers getting married on the TV. But to everyone who plans to watch, enjoy!
Tuesday, April 26th, 2011
8:45 pm
Éirinn go brách
This article amused me. Perhaps, to paraphrase my grandmother, "It used to be O'bama, but the apostrophe fell in the ocean."

(A thing that people of that generation used to say about surnames like "Sullivan" and "Brien"--"It used to be O'Brien, but the O fell in the ocean.")
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
4:16 pm
Sad news
Sad news--Elisabeth Sladen has died, at the too-young age of 63. Sarah Jane Smith was my heroine of heroines when I was a little girl, and I will always be grateful to Ms. Sladen for bringing that character so vividly to life.
Thursday, April 14th, 2011
2:55 pm
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Augustine of Hippo was wrong about lots of things, but he was right about this one:

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage.
2:07 pm
WIKTORY
Test was mailed away. I couldn't figure out how to combine chocolate, garlic, onion, cruciferous vegetables, and caffeine in one attractive dish (in retrospect, cauliflower enchiladas mole would have worked) so had duck with rice noodles, diet Coke, and Cadbury eggs for brunch. HAPPY AGAIN.
Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
6:41 pm
WHARFARGBL
I am doing a take-home medical test (srsly) which means that I cannot have chocolate, caffeine, or garlic (among other things) today. Without caffeine and garlic, I am nothing. Chocolate is nice, too.
Sunday, April 3rd, 2011
12:10 pm
Milk Drinkers Turn To Powder
My Eldest Goddaughter and her mother came to visit me yesterday, bearing this game. It is awesome. My best hand was "NAKED DRUGS GOVERNOR MARRIES TWEEN."
Thursday, March 31st, 2011
2:59 pm
Recuperation!
Recuperation continues to go well. The Brother came to babysit me yesterday while my Largely Mythological Husband was at work. We laughed too much for my incisions. I feel lucky.
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011
2:08 pm
TRIUMPH OF SCIENCE!
Turns out it was my appendix, which they removed without incident.* The sore throat business was just a red herring.

So all is well. Home now for lots of napping!

*I forgot to ask if I could keep it. :(
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